Men and boy wearing earring at a funeral?

Today most people will not care whether or not you and your boys are wearing earrings so long as they are suitable for the occasion. From what you said, I gather most of your relatives have already seen all of you with your earrings and have not made any negative comments. A small diamond or gold stud would be appropriate for a dignified formal affair such as the funeral. Most likely no one will say anything to you or about you if you all wear your earrings. On the other hand, there may be other young boys in the extended family who would like to have their ears pierced who will be looking for your sons' earrings and may comment if your boys are not wearing earrings. You should all wear earrings at the funeral, but keep them small and conservative.