Two kids - Married 11 years - together 21 years (last few mod-very rocky, but most of them good. ?

Im sorry love but he kinda comes across as though he doesnt really care. It kinda seems like maybe he is reluctantly saying what you want (and the bare mininmum at that) and just doing as he likes. Maybe its time for you to seperate. Find yourself again. You dont need a man to be fantasic. Good luck.